Blah days & the deeper work
Written by Claire McCann
Laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, instructing, correcting and repeat etc. Does this sound like any of your lives? Monotony is a word I thought I knew before I became a mom but realize now that I was mistaken. How is it that the days often drag on and on while the years seem to fly by?! I absolutely love staying home with my children and taking care of my husband and my home but what are we to do with those dreaded monotonous days??? You know, those days we feel down for no apparent reason and just loose delight in the here and now. When we are certain some future experience, person or thing is what we need to be satisfied and happy. Is there hope for the mundane days and if so how do we find it?
At the moment life is good. I love my husband immensely and love the calling God has given us in planting OSC Crowley. I love being home, raising my almost 5 children and encouraging other women in their journey to know the Lord. There are absolutely hard times but overall I truly love my life. So how can I (and you I'm sure) randomly wake up just feeling blah sometimes for lack of a better word? I know all women have felt what I'm talking about so I'll skip to the thing I feel God has been pressing on me. I am convinced in those monotonous, depressing and blah days God is wanting to do a deeper work is us. He lets us get to an uncomfortably discontent place to draw us into His presence. Now, I'm not saying this is my favorite thing or that I celebrate when I have these days. In fact I'd so prefer Jesus just make me more like Himself without me having to die to myself...unfortunately that does not happen. So this deeper work is uncomfortable but can we learn to embrace it?
If you know me then you know I am a passionate person in every sense of the word. Sometimes that gets the best of me ,and in my humanity, I unintentionally hurt someone else. I am a fighter and love the thrill of competition (as long as I win, j/k). It has taken me some time to realize that God has given me this tenacity so I can apply that to my walk with Him. I WILL NOT DRIFT TOWARDS HOLINESS, EVER. Neither will you. Unfortunately this is where the discomfort comes in. To truly know and live for the Lord daily is only possible through a desperate, all out FIGHT to pursue Him. This is most often why those monotonous, blah days come....TO REMIND US TO FIGHT. I know this sounds all cute and simple but it's quite the opposite. Sometimes the battles are lost and you are left wounded, discouraged and wanting to give up. Those times come for all of us and it's OK to feel weak. It is of utmost importance that you remember Jesus is your strength in the midst of that weakness.
Jesus draws us into the war of knowing Him, assured that we will not win every battle but simultaniously supplying the grace and strength we need for the process. We have to choose to walk in it though. It's almost like a real war where brave solders are given the food and supplies they need to carry out the mission. Those soldiers still must fight for an opportunity to use those supplies. God gives us His word and His people as our supplies but are you willing to do the hard work of using them? To put this in every day terms, when you have one of those "off" days are you willing to press more deeply into pursuing the Lord and ask a Godly friend for help instead of drowning those feelings in binge eating while watching every season of Downton Abbey? Are you willing to get involved in a lifegroup and connect with others along this journey to know God, willing to be vulnerable in your struggles? God has given you the supplies but the fight comes in intentionally using them! Take heart friends that God will not bring us somewhere He is not! In the darkest, most difficult moments He wants to be your strength. Will you admit your weakness and fight to see His strength in you? None of us will become more Godly without stepping into all out war.
D. A. Carson explains:
People do not drift toward Holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; we drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; we drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated.