FIGHTING TO KNOW JESUS IS RIDDLED WITH JOY AND DIFFICULTY, AS IS MOTHERHOOD. IF WE EMBRACE THIS, IT WILL BRING US TO A PLACE THAT ONLY GOD CAN BRING REST TO AND SUSTAIN US IN. THIS IS WHERE DEEP JOY IS FOUND.

1st Full Week of College=My Worst Case Scenario

1st Full Week of College=My Worst Case Scenario

I am a planner and yet life has not adjusted to following my plans…

I plan for how I expect things to go and oftentimes I subconsciously plan for the worst case scenario.

The events of this past week were my “worst case scenario”…

Zach was to be in Oklahoma for the week preaching at an amazing church for great friends…

I was going on strike from cooking and planned to treat myself to some healthy food that I did NOT have to prep…

The kids were going to be in school/daycare so I could get my assignments done and go to my classes…

We were even planning to go to the trampoline park and enjoy being out of the house…

Then the dreaded moment came…

Less than 24hrs after my husband left…(of course)

A midnight beckoning (3-year-old) awakened me with signs of a VIOLENT stomach virus.

The sanitized version is the virus lingered for a few LONG days then spread to two more children.

Which, in turn, meant I missed my third day of college…. The one thing I was praying against because we had no backup for help with our children.

Needless to say, this week brought little sleep, no venturing out of the house, many stressful moments and many mommy sacrifices.

Now…

I can make arguments out of anything that I am passionate about.

It’s a gift… or a curse… (ahem) just ask Zach because he is the one who gets the brunt of it.

My tendency in these high-stress moments is to blame SOMETHING to relieve some of the frustration and disappointment I feel…

A shiny husband, who is enjoying the traveling life, would have been the perfect target in the past.

This time though I was determined to take a different approach.

This time I chose to let God work on me and feel the disappointment instead of stuff it.

This time I chose to trust that God was QUITE AWARE of my worst case scenario and chose to implement it anyway.

This time I was in tune with God enough to notice that even in the worst case scenario…

He is actually working for my good.

So that is what I did this week… I let Him stretch me.

The very thing I was fearful of is the exact thing He chose to use to help me remember that I CAN, in fact, do this (school, mom, wife, pastor, etc) thing… even when the worst case scenario occurs.

I am capable of more than I think and even when I fear things are too much...absolutely NOTHING is too much when He is the strength in you.

So we made it through the first full week, my family is well and Zachary is home.

I am thoroughly enjoying my courses and am thankful that God does not always take the path of least resistance… He instead takes the path that will grow us.

Walk INTO your self-doubt

Walk INTO your self-doubt

Certain Uncertainty

Certain Uncertainty